I sneeze in bright light

Rare post

2007-04-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

Such a rare post but it beats sending out 50 emails. I know that hoardes of my fans are patiently waiting for me to reveal the next gem of insight that I am internationally known for.

Two things have changed since my last post:

I have a new job in Darlington. This will involve managing capital projects in schools.
I have an insaitable desire to study the dark ages in Britain.

Thank you.

I want to be a super hero!

2006-10-06T03:18:00.000-07:00

AS many will know, I have been working 2 jobs recently. Well, working one and covering the other, officially. Due to being a wasteful Council with lazy workers (references: every page of the Daily Mail, every day), we had a freeze on recruiting and thus I take to take over other duties.

This means I've been working from 7.15 to 5.00pm on some nights. I don't really care, but even with this extra work, it seems like I'm working hard and achieving little. What do I do? Well, for an hour before school, I make sure the toilets, classrooms, offices etc are clean and as they should be. Then I get back to the office and write up a report on the cleanliness of the school. And then I do some contract managing... Last week it was a wasp attack at one of the PFI schools, the week before it was school meals (again).

All very well, but this is hardly the life I envisaged when I left University. Then, I wanted to do something useful, interesting, exciting,wonderful, and impressive. Heroic, even. It didn't even matter what it solid be - perhaps one week I'd be wanting a career in mountain rescue, the next leading a communist revolution across Europe, followed by being an MI5 agent, saving the world from terrorists, aliens, small pox or AWOL A.I. And yet, here I am, stuck writing press releases about E numbers and potato rumblers.

It's not just me, either. Many of my friends face the same situation. We signed up to University, our middle-class ambition and mission-to-the-world pushing us. We graduated and... well. We graduated and got jobs. Is that really where we wanted to be?

History, to me, is always glamorous. It's full of adventures on the high seas, knights fighting dragons, war heroes, revolutions, movers and shakers. Life looked so much better 8 years ago. But then, history is made up of heroes and villains. No one wrote a Viking Saga about a wheat farmer, but about the buyer of the bread, Beowulf, mighty Grendel slayer! Don Quixote, Knights errant, had manic adventures, but no one wrote about his stable boy. David killed Goliath with a sling shot, but the thousands of men in the armies hardly get a mention.

Where does this leave me? Supporting someone else's story, helping someone else to make history. Being the stable boy, the press release man, the anonymous spokesperson. The people that history couldn't be made without.

And that is, at least to me, incredibly dull.

Oh for a four hours student council, oh...

2006-09-15T05:58:00.000-07:00

And so, to another year of church. I've received a promotion: since my baptism last December, I've now become Property Steward. Which means I get to sit on the all important Resources Committee!

Now, I thought the Students' Union was bad. However, a simple trip to the Resources Committe, which met last night, would have even the strongest person begging for 2 hours of Transgendered Debate, or an hours worth of Officer impeachment policy.

Yes, it really was that bad. We spent around 45 minutes discussing the really important issue of whether or not to charge £22 or £23 per morning/afternoon/evening for the facilities. Forty-five minutes, I said, to change 6 amounts by a grand total of £12! I suspect that we could have saved money by not discussing the agenda item at all.

Apprently the photocopier doesn't work in humid conditions, which is odd, because everything else does.

And the very best part of the evening was the response that was received when t he Minister suggested taking chairs out of the church which might just possibly mean some people have to change seats that they've sat in for almost 400 years!

In other news, I have decided I will never, ever, go on a training course run by The City of York Council again. Even is the alternative is being beaten would the head with a brick for 19 years with only toilet and food breaks.

By the way, since I blogged last I have:

Got married
Got a flat
Been to Greenbelt, twice
Almost learnt to drive
Bought a AGP graphics accelerator for my PC
Bought 2 cars and sold one
Resigned morally from the labour party
Joined the labour party
Got a promotion
Dressed s a carrot

A lesson in leading

2005-03-14T10:32:00.000-08:00

I'd like to start by apologising to James. Sorry for not replying to the email. I only logged into fluffy yesterday for the first time in months.

On with the story...

I went to support the under 13's from Heworth Methodist Church in the quaterly Methodist York championships yesterday, and ended up being team manager. The 9 people, 2 girls on the team, are the most adorable bunch of young 'uns, and did us proud, coming 4th out of 9 teams.

However this taught me a lesson. Being in charge is hard.

The main problem was not that the other teams were good, but that I had 9 people to fill 5 positions (or 8 to fill 5 if you eclude the goalie). 3 little one 10 years olds, though strong and enthusiastic, just couldn't keep up with the big 13 year olds on opposite teams. So I had to mix and match.

So, I had to keep these 3 involved, whilst playing a stronger team of 4 biggers ones. 'Can I be striker' was the question they kept asking me: whilst I wanted them to be strikers, I needed defenders too!

But, with roll on subs I tried to keep everyone involved, and after 2 games I realised I'd forgotten to play someone (whoops), and then the 3 little ones got cold and a bit unconfident at 3 out of 4 loses. Time for a switch around! I put my 2 best in defense, and put 2 little ones up front, and bingo! A win for HMC!

When we played Holy Trinity B (a side entirely consisting of 9 and 10 year old girls and boys, I put all the little ones on with my 'Robert Pires' - a boy called Jack who, at 13, is built better than me. Anyway, a crushing win of 3-0 gave the littles confidence and in the next game, little Ant (9) took the ball past 2 13 year olds and made the keeper really dive to save a wicked shot.

All in all, a good day. But I've learnt much: even in a little game of football, being in charge, keeping everyone going and trying to win takes patience and cool headedness!

Not a great bit on insight, but I thought I'd share.

Picked up keys for flat today! Very nicely decorated. Small, but perfect for 2.

Terrible defensive mistakes sink Blades 4-5 to league-bottom team Wakefield

2005-01-24T08:51:00.000-08:00

I played football on Saturday.As you can probably tell form the title we lost :(. Here is the match report:

2 shocking defensive blunders including the keeper completely mis-kicking the ball and an own goal from Monk left Blades 2-0 inside 2 minutes. Winger Al played some inspirational football to clear the OG after drilling the ball into top left after 13 minutes, before James Chapman failed to connect an easy clearance and Blades were looking at 3-1 down at the 20-minute mark.

Blades came back quickly though after the team regrouped with some good midfield and defensive play. Geoff hammered the ball to net on 25, and season's top scorer James White put another 2 away before half time. Blades began to dominate the game, with Wakefield's centre collapsing neat balls and runs were played and 5 more shots threatened to put the game beyond the Baptist's reach with a half to play. Half time came and every WB player looked relieved.

Once restated, Blades fell apart after a forced substitution due to injury saw the mid field relax too much. A chronic error by the new Blade's keeper saw the score level to 4 a side despite desperate efforts by defenders with 70 minutes gone. With just 4 minutes left Wakey's strikers forced another error from the Left Wingback, compounded by the goalie being routed to his line Blade's dropped to 5-4 after Monk was almost booked for a high tackle on a Wakefield striker and two hard tackles on their left winger.

With just seconds on the clock the Blades forced a corner and with every man inside the box the big kick cleared the box for Monk to strike straight at a defender - out for a throw as the whistle blew. Final Score: Jorvik Blades 4 Wakefield Baptist Church 5.

All you can eat! and other troubling thoughts.

2005-01-19T06:23:00.000-08:00

I went to an all you can eat Chinese Buffet last night. Very nice. But as I sat munching through my 2nd plate of prawns and ducks and other lovely things, a thought hit me. How much food am I stealing form others by eating this meal?

This set me off thinking. Everyone on the planet has certain resources. I have them abundantly. If everyone lived like me, eating all you can eat, we'd run out. So I must be stealing from others.

But I wasn't intentionally stealing: I just hadn't thought about it before. Is it still morally wrong to do so? I assumed so. So I thought about what else I do on the planet. I consume lots of resources everyday. Probably too much in some case. I had always imagined that campaigning for social justice would end up with everyone living like we do - but of course that is impossible as the planet couldn't sustain that.

So, campaigning for social justice must be able giving up things so that others can have basics. So what should I give up? Trips to the cinema so that electricity can be produced in Sudan for education? Showering every morn so that Zimbabwean farmers can have more to water their crops? That 5th pair of shoes so that Chinese tea workers can have one?

Where does it stop?

And more importantly, am I prepared to give it up? Morally I feel obliged to say yes - but I know I won't. Is this what being 'lukewarm' for Jesus means? If it is, then a lot of people are in a lot of trouble. And I'm included.

Greens make me red

2005-01-14T02:33:00.000-08:00

The education office has been for the last 2 days locked in a battle with local green party. In order to build a new building, certain already deseased trees have got to me moved (they must be replaced according to planning law). After 3 years and 3 seperate independant tests, the greens are still kicking up a fuss. Idiots.

They have no sense of perspective, no understanding of the longer term aims of the school, no idea that the education office doesn't want to be sued for negligence should a deseased tree fall and hurt someone.

I used to think the green party was progressive: in fact it's clear from local actions they are the most conservitive, anti-change group of people in politics right now. I can't believe I supported them with a vote for the European Elections. I will never again.

Trying to work for a better environment is fine; but heated council chamber meetings when good officers are yelled at, knived against and lied too is too far to save 2 dying trees.

Grow up, greens. You make people go red.

Another round of insane sneezing

2005-01-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

Not many would think York on a misty winter morning would be an active place for photonsneezitus, but this morning around 15 sneezes were recorded as I stepped outside my door into brighter lights.

Photonsneezitus is the new name for my condition. As no one seems to know about it, I've taken it upon myself to create it as a medical condition.

Photonsneezitus
A medical condition brought on by a failure of certain nasal photon sensing genes resulting in over active nasal photon sensors.

Symptoms: repeatitive and unstoppable involuentry sneezing when sufferer enters bright lights. Sneezing will be worse if a longer period of sufferer being in a dark environment preceeds.

Cure: Snogging: repeatitively, frequently, every day. Cure may only reduce, not erradicate, symptoms.

I hope Steph sees this.

(I do hope you all note the new HTML tags in this post! Advanced stuff I'm sure.)

Hot desking, wedding stuff

2005-01-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

I've had to hot desk away from my friends today :(. Some boring person is shouting something very boring at another very boring person. Accountants...

Anyway, today I flexied off to look for a house! We went round one, it was poor and small, but at the price not too bad (I didn't think). But we decided no after a little discussion. We're going to look at 4 on Monday morning together too, and these ones look much nicer (but more expensive).

We also need to buy rings. We looked and I had a 2 tone one shoved on my finger and I was told it suited me - S couldn't find out which matched her engagement ring or fitted. Apparently everything has to match. I think we'll go again on Saturday.

Just time to say - never have Christmas before football training. Last night was tough. I think I have some breathing problem or something like asthma because I was out of breath in a few minutes. I decided not to go to the 6 a side tournament on Saturday because of this :(. Next match: 2 and a half weeks.

Bye

I don't call random people

2005-01-04T09:54:00.000-08:00

But random people call me.

The dog story eventually was figured out: the dog had changed colour because a different type of tree was giving a different type of leaves for dog to roll around in.

Today I wrote a guide to explain to dippy secretaries what email is, I printed off some grainy images.

But the real point of this conversation is to publically dig at Sarah's comment.

Darling, HTML is a form of mark up, so your comment really doesn't make sense. I don't read user guides so it was trial and improvement. As an internet user you really should try to be more aware what various letters mean. HTML = Hyper Text Mark-up Language. Darling.

Anyway, I'm going ot make some size 165 boots and a bean stalk, and go ring shopping tomorrow. Until next time...

Time for a quick update

2004-12-31T05:58:00.000-08:00

The biggest mental block in returning to blogging is clearly starting the first post. So here it is.

I'm sitting on New Year's Eve in the LEA office 'working' - there are about 5 people in the entire building. I will flexi off early.

If you've not picked it up, that means that I found a job, after a successful move, and am now settling into York ready to get marrie dnext April. All good fun.

Some of you may have read the story of the dog, but here it is.

[i]A young man is sitting in the LEA Office doing Important Stuff for the DfES![/i]

[i]Phone[/i]Bring bring... ... ... bring bring.[/i]

"Hello, Education Planning"

"Hello, is that the LEA planning team?"

"Yes, how can I help?"

"Well, I've been given your number to complain too. You've just built part of a school. It's made my dog change colour"

Just another day in the LEA.

Anyway, L and M are coming tonight, everyone is welcome to come too - drop a message for Fluffy on 24-7 and I'll tell you where to come. Miram in Grimsby really wants some fun too. And Rachie in Iron wants a hug.

James: where are you? I've emailed you! Master J!

Christmas Comes Early For Laurieston

2004-08-06T03:31:00.000-07:00

I went out last night (or was it two nights ago?) to the local pub. When I say local, I mean the 'only one in 6 miles' pub. Anyway, a lovely mean of gammon steak with runny eggs was enjoyed, although the promised pinapple mysteriously did not appear as the menu said it would.

Still, half way through the meal my young sister said "I'm sure this song is 'God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen'," which bizzarely, it was. The group of us began laughing about it, thinking no more of it. However, the track was then followed by a very sincere version of 'Jingle Bells' and then other Christmas songs.

On telling this to the bar staff, the CD was changed, though we were all rather confused as to why anyone put '15 Greatest Christmas Songs' on in August anyway. My mother noted, admittedly she was trying to be funny and not altogether serious, that "perhaps it was a ploy to make us reserve our Christmas Dinner early."

I once heard that 'Christmas is the period after the summer holidays until mid Janurary'. I think it will have to be even earlier in Laurieston. And Christmas isn't celebrated very much in Scotland at all!

Hunting

2004-07-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Many types of hunting today.

I forgot my logon details for this blog thing, I had to hunt them down. I'm job hunting, and I think there's a lot of money to be made in animal hunting too.

Want to move to York. yada yada job job job job.

My brilliant friend James sent me a great link about homosexual marriage in the states. Its American, but some American things are OK I guess, so here it is: 10 (or more) reasons why homosexuals shouldn't marry.

Bye for now. Good luck to Martin.

I really do

2004-07-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

It was confirmed to me on Saturday, incidently at my graduation, that I have a genetic make-up which makes me sneeze in bright lights. Although rigioursly contested by my sort-of brother in law, I hypothesised about this when, during a car journey along the M6, both my pregnant sister and I sneezed in unison after emerging from a bridge we'd been stopped under for some minutes.

Proof of this rare condition, which I am going to call 'Monks' sneezing sydrome', was found at 12.42 on Saturday the 10th of July, 2004 when the sun, hidden for many minutes behind a low cumulus cloud, broke though its barrier with relitively bright sunshine. This caused my 2 sisters and myself to sneeze together, as if we were practicing for a sneezing performance.

I shall post the results of my sneezing investigation soon...